OK, so me and my friend Brittany had a revelation today. As she came over to escape her "crazy" life, we both sat in agreement with responses we have been getting from "some" of our friends and family. Why do people think that because you are going through "crisis" and a "white flag" moment, it is because you/yours have done something wrong? I don't' understand this. I just wrote a similar blog on my "About Me" blog and sat in awe as I wondered, what are people thinking?
I don't get it. I can honestly say that I don't understand why people think that when you go through your "white flag"/ "crisis" moments, you must have done something wrong. I feel deeply, and I believe Brittany feels the same, that it's not always because you have done something wrong, but maybe just merely a teaching moment. This moment does not even need to be for us. It could be for someone who is around us, watching how we handle this situation, and could learn from our difficult time and learn about faith and patience. How to work through a difficult, uncomfortable, unsettling, wanting to wave the flag moment. I have to say there have been several moments in the last month when I've said to my friends and family and my "husband" Ryan, that I'm done. I'm calling it quits, my plate is full, I can't do this. Though I'm encouraged daily that God, the father I love, will never give me more than I can handle. I feel like that is not the case.
I'm then reassured by those close to me, ones I love, who genuinely love me and know my circumstance, who encourage me to stay strong and keep the faith and hold off on the flag waving. I've been lucky to have a husband that has put up with my rants and raves. Friends who will let me bitch about wanting to divorce my husband "only" in joking.. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have the close friends I have. That I have the ones I love who are willing to come and visits me at my "chateau ghetto". (Though you think I'm kidding, I am really not, come visit and you will see, LOL)
So, through thick, thin, little or big, I'm going through crap. I've got a flag and I will admit at certain times it's waving, and at others I've got my armor up and I will have the sword and shield ready for battle so proceed with caution. Truly know, that if you are special to me, you know where I am. You know how I feel, you know where I am with Christ and how I truly genuinely lean on Him for everything. Christ is my strength and the one I pray to when I lay my head down for bed, the one I praise when I wake up. I'm blessed that I am a child of God and there is a reason for everything.
So, I will say this..Merry Christmas. Life is tough, it sucks, but it's still the reason for the season. It's the reason I can say I'm saved and that I can have bad days and know I"m still saved from eternal dalmation. Thanks Lord for this season, and Merry Christmas to all I love.
Merry Freaking Christmas.
Love you!
